The Child-Hating Culture Has Infiltrated the Church
The Culture’s Great Enemy
The modern secular culture hates children, and they are becoming more bold about it. One need look no further than StopHavingKids.org for proof of our society's anger against children and those who bear them. This isn’t just an ideology for fringe weirdos, either. The birth rate in the U.S. has declined rapidly in recent years, and the cultural narrative around children has grown increasingly hostile. Since 2007, the birth rate in the United States has fallen 20%, leaving many sociologists dumb-founded as to why. Normally, the birth rate platoes or declines during economic hardships, and then rebounds during times of economic prosperity. However, this elongated decline seems to have no economic factors to point to.
The problem is that the secular experiment is coming to fruition, and our culture’s hedonistic, self-centered, “me”-focused, sex-saturated, gender-confused worldview has found its greatest enemy; children. Feminism and the sexual revolution, beginning in the late 20th Century, has preached the mantra of individual freedom and personal exploration. “You are the god of your universe” they shouted, “follow your every desire!” This mode of thinking led to the normalization of abortion, and then the legalization of it. The deaths of 63 million babies, an entire generation, can be traced back to these ideologies. When people live only to follow their base desires, someone else usually suffers.
But this is not an abortion article (I’ve already written on that topic, which you can find here), nor is it a survey of secular social movements. While the sexual revolution, feminism, and radical indiviualism are reaking havoc on society (such as the declining birth rate, a more pressing issue than the red-hearing of climate change), my greatest concern is not for how the unbelieving culture has bought into this worldview, but the ways in which the Church has been infiltrated by it.
Whether you realize it or not, the average Christian has become so inundated with an anti-child worldview that many of our churches are filled with wrong attitudes toward children and families. The question isn’t whether believers have been influenced by the culture in this area, but to what degree. First, let me convince you of our deception. Then I will attempt to bring Scripture to bear on the topic of children, and offer some closing applications. Stick with me, you might just find that you've downed the kool-aid without even realizing it.
The Great Deception
Children are a hindrance to your personal freedom. Children limit your amount of free time, they tie down your finances. They require attention, devotion, and self-sacrifice; things the modern American despises. Children make your life no longer about you, this is how God designed it. Yet for many Chrisitians, these are the exact reasons that children are spoken of, in our churches, as a curse rather than a blessing.
The culture is more forthcoming, they say “abortion is murder, but we don’t care, children get in the way”. Thankfully, the faithful remnant has rejected this demonic spew. The Church buys into the deception in more subtle ways. A big house is prioritized over a large family. New cars are prioritized over a Christian education. Freedom to travel and “live life” causes young Christian couples to hold out on having children well into their thirties, wasting their prime child-bearing years.
I’m not saying that using wisdom in planning the size and timing of your family is sinful. Everyone has their limits, and everyone's financial situation and timing of life events looks different. However, very rarely do I hear Christian couples say, “We need to seek the Lord as to when we are done having kids.” It’s usually a decision made on the basis of some material or physical comfort. More and more frequently, children are becoming an inconvenient afterthought in the life of married Christian couples.
It’s not just family planning that has been affected by this infiltration, either. How often, in our churches, do the “big families'' get weird looks or confused questions? Being someone who has had two children fairly close together, I can’t tell you how many people expect me to speak of my children as if they are a hindrance to my life. My friends who have more kids (think 4 or more), are often looked at as pariahs, even in Christian circles. “You know that you could take more vacations if you would stop popping those kids out, right?”
How often do people stop having children merely because they have reached the quota allowed by their comfort? How many jokes are made from pulpits about loud, dirty, smelly, difficult little hellions? How many well-meaning saints give young couples unbiblical advice about limiting your number of kids merely out of convenience? To take it a step further, how many Christians neglect to disciple their children because it would get in the way of their schedule? They may have children, but the Biblical requirements for raising them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord are simply unrealistic for someone who is trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Another deceptive lie that has laid hold of the Church is that of hopelessness and pessimism. I’ve heard countless Christians say something like “I don’t know if I want to bring children into this world.” This deception is the trickier one, a tactic of fear used by Satan to stop us from doing the very thing that may defeat him. We become so informed by the news cycle that we fail to view the world through the lens of scripture, to our detriment.
I’m not insinuating that this deception has taken full-root, Christians are still far more loving and caring towards children than the surrounding culture. Christians are twice as likely to adopt and almost three times more likely to seriously consider becoming foster parents. Christians love Children, but this slowly creeping trend is beginning to take root. All the more reason to cut it off early.
If you take an objective look at your life, your church, your brothers and sisters in Christ, you may just see this worldview popping up. Is this how Christians are to view child-bearing? Are we thinking biblically? Or have we really bought into the spirit of the age? Let’s turn to scripture to see how God speaks of children.
Let The Little Children Come
The Bible speaks of children, and the responsibility of God's people to have and raise children, in a multitude of passages. When we survey the biblical text, we find three truths about children that inform the way we should view Christian parenting and purpose.
God Commands Us to Have Children
And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” -Genesis 1:28
This passage is often referred to as the “Dominion Mandate”. It has been understood by Christians for centuries to not just apply to Adam and Eve, but to all who bear God’s image. This is especially true of God’s chosen people. God reiterates this command to Noah at the start of the new lineage of man (Genesis 9:1), showing God’s intention for His covenant people to reflect Him across the globe. The principle is this: God wants to fill the earth with people who reflect Him. No one reflects Him like His people, who bear the name of His Son, who is the perfect representation of His character (Colossians 1:15).
Children are a Blessing
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.”
-Psalm 127:3
In this beautiful passage about the eternal value and blessing that children bring, we get a glimpse of God’s view of generational multiplication. God calls children a “reward”, a precious gift given by God’s grace. They are not an inconvenience, a nuisance, or an annoyance. Rather, they are a good gift from God. Contrast this with the language we often use to talk about our kids, and notice the disparity between God’s perspective and ours.
Not only are our children a blessing, but they are also an inheritance. The word used in Psalm 127 is heritage, but carries the same meaning. Children are an inheritance from the Lord because they are eternal souls that will live forever. They are more valuable than any possession, or promotion, or vacation, because you can, by God’s grace, take them with you after you die. They carry on your legacy after you are gone, and if you raise them to know Jesus, they will be with you in eternity.
This kind of thinking exposes the great lie of feminism. Feminism has deceived an entire generation of women into thinking that the greatest thing that they could do with their lives is to work forty hours a week to maintain a career. Women who are able to have children have the opportunity to be used by God to birth eternal souls, and to care for them and raise them to know and love Jesus. Children are far more valuable than an executive position at a mid-level marketing firm, and they bring much more joy.
The key here is perspective: God’s word is true, even if our experience causes us to feel differently. There are times when your children don’t feel like a blessing. There are times when they pull on the last thread of your sanity. There are times when you reach the end of your energy and hobble, exhausted, into their room for the eighth time in a night. In these moments, you might not feel blessed. Thankfully, your feelings do not determine your reality. If God calls us blessed, then we are. If God calls us favored, then favored we must be. Grasping this perspective requires a renewing of our minds, and a faith-filled surrender to God’s declaration of our blessing.
Children are a Weapon
“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!”
Psalm 127:4-5
This striking passage speaks directly to the fears of those who despair at the sinful state of our world. “How could Christians bring children into this world?” This is the wrong question. The question we should be asking is, “How could we not?” This passage shows us God’s design in the war against darkness. Children are not merely a blessing for our personal joy, but a weapon God gives us to wage war against the forces of evil. As my wife wisely pointed out recently: “What would the world look like if the Christians stopped having children?” Bleak indeed.
If we desire to see the earth filled with the knowledge of God, to see justice done, to see mercy displayed, to see human flourishing, then we must populate the earth with people who are equipped to pursue such ends; people who know and love Jesus. How do we win the war against Satan’s grasp on the nations? We look ahead to a victory in the generations after us. A Christian couple can do little to stave off the tides of darkness by themselves, but the hundreds of descendants who come after them can shake the nations. God’s design to bring the light of the gospel to the nations is two fold; the making of disciples and the raising of disciples. The children we train today will fulfill God’s mission tomorrow. Christian, the world needs our offspring.
Do Not Despise the Little Ones
What does it look like to love children and honor parenthood? How can believers, even ones who do not have kids, support the families of the Church in raising eternal souls to know and love Jesus? It begins with a shift in our perspective. When we recognize the temptation to view children as a nuisance, and begin to see God’s love and care for them, we are then equipped to order our lives properly.
For the young and married: have babies. Raise them to know Jesus. Determine the size of your family based on your God-given capacity, not upon a love of trivial, worldly possessions. Remember that the eternal souls that you produce will fight against the darkness, and that they shall be a reward for you from God.
For those who cannot have kids: foster and adopt. As God has adopted us in Christ, so He blesses those who open their homes and hearts to children who are not their own. Your value is not determined by your lack of children, and your usefulness in the war for the nations is not limited. If you cannot foster or adopt, commit to developing relationships with “spiritual children”. Like Paul mentoring Timothy, invest yourself in the spiritual growth of others. We live in a world full of broken homes, and people need father and mother figures to love and care for them.
For the church leaders: make your gatherings a place that welcomes children. Invest in your children's programs. Train parents to raise their children to fear the Lord. Speak of them as blessings, and encourage your people to pursue greater treasures than the finite possessions of this life.
For the parents: give everything you have to see your children come to know and love Jesus. Limit the size of your family only by your capacity and God’s calling. Live simply to invest in a Christian education, so that your children are thoroughly prepared to engage with a world that is hostile to the Gospel. Let your simplicity and contentment serve as an example to your children of the surpassing value of knowing Christ. Remember that your calling to raise children is not a call to give up on a more important mission. Your role is of the utmost importance and carries great eternal weight. Future generations will bear your name, and the mission of Christ can be spurred on by your legacy.
For the church: let us fight against the infiltration of unbiblical ideals. Let us be more informed by scripture than the whims of culture. Let us put to death our selfishness, and order our lives not around our comfort or convenience, but around the eternal purposes of God and the lasting joy of His blessings. Let us speak of our kids as God does, and seek Him for guidance in how we raise them. By His grace, we can see our children walk in His ways, and leave a legacy of faith that far outlasts our finite lives. God has given us children, let us make the most of this great blessing.
